Forgiveness in a Relationship
Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. However, you may well wonder, “How do you go about forgiving someone when they’ve hurt you?”
If you’re willing and able to work on your emotional focus and release any desire for revenge, you have an honest chance of attaining your aim. While the memory of what someone did will remain with you, you can still “forget” by putting the past behind you.
Follow these four vital steps to be able forgive and forget:
1. Acceptance. The first step to forgiving and forgetting is accepting that someone has wronged you. You must accept what has happened and live with it. Acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward in a positive direction.
2. Healing. It’s important to give yourself adequate time to heal. The time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person heals differently.
· If possible, limit your time with the person who hurt you while you reflect and heal.
3. Revitalize your relationship. All relationships, whether romantic or platonic, need nurturing to thrive. If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you’re upset, it’s likely to wither away.
· Once you’ve experienced the fruits of your healing process, spend time together. Go out for dinner, hang around your house or just spend a day together at the park. The location is of little importance, but the company is essential to revitalizing your relationship.
4. Rebuilding trust. This should be done while revitalizing your relationship. The person who hurt you should work towards making you feel secure in trusting them once again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. If you hold a grudge, you may be stuck in this rut for a lifetime.
· It’s also important to let the other party involved, if it’s your spouse, know that it’s okay to trust you. If their mistake was brutal enough, they’re likely expecting you to reciprocate and get revenge. Attempt to reassure them you wish to reconcile and start anew.
To move forward, you must let go of everything you once thought was true and form a new reality together. This is the foundation for forgiving and forgetting.
But in this case, it takes two to tango. Both you and the other party involved must make an honest effort. Though it may seem unfair to ask you to try when you’re the one that’s been wronged, this is the price you pay for freeing yourself from those toxic shackles.
People change. Trust can be restored if both parties in the relationship will work at it. While the healing process may take time, two people willing to reconcile and seek each other’s happiness will experience that happiness for themselves and an intimate relationship that will withstand the test of time.
Forgiveness in a Relationship- More Resources
Research and clinical practice show that forgiveness is one of the keys to emotional intimacy. It creates a safe space to deepen personal exploration and it allows each partner to share their broken parts. In intimate relationships it is an absolute necessity, because heartache is inevitable when you deeply trust yourself to another.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Below I share how to forgive someone who has hurt you in 15 steps: Forgiveness | 398 Comments Forgiving others is essential for spiritual growth. Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more that a thought or feeling that you carry around.
How do you forgive someone who betrayed you…when you still don’t trust them? Here’s how to forgive (and let go of the hurt) without forgetting. C’mon over to http://www.marieforleo.com/2016/01/forgiveness/ where the main discussion happens after the episode! Missed my most recent episodes?
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