But, the art of flirting isn’t passed from generation to generation as it used to be. In our society where everything is digital and face-to-face communication can be quick and to the point, many women never learn how to flirt. It’s an art form that keeps your guy’s attention and stokes his desire to hunt and conquer – both very good things when you want him to notice you!
The basic core of flirting is creating tension and elevating the natural chemistry between you. You can do that with your eyes, your body or your language. This means you don’t have to be face to face to flirt. You can do it over the phone or over text messages. The aim is to created tension by promising something and then withdrawing it.
For instance, you could flirt by looking him in the eye, averting your gaze, looking back, smiling and then looking away again. It’s give and take that lets him know that you’re interested, without being aggressive.
What is interesting, is that you already flirt by nature, you just might not know how to turn it on and off on your own? If you joke with the man behind the counter at the pharmacy or the guy behind the desk at the library knows you by name, smiles and jokes with you when you come in that’s flirting. It’s innocent and harmless and leads nowhere. It’s communication that lets the other person know that you find them interesting and it makes them feel good.
When you flirt to show more interest, you might brush up against them, or touch their arm to make a point. Glance at him from the corner of your eye, give a compliment and then back off. Tease him without crossing the line into overt sexual advances. Most guys like a woman with sass and who doesn’t let them get away with too much.
Your true interest comes across in the action of your eyes. You may have heard people making the comment about “making eyes” at someone. It means using your eyes to communicate your interest. Don’t wink because it’s just cheesy, and don’t be aggressive, because it gives the guy less to do and less interest in you.
When you smile, let it go all the way to your eyes. Don’t just turn up the corners of your mouth, but let that smile light your eyes. Then turn away. This creates that promise and withdrawal that develops the tension between you. Know your whole body. Turn your body toward him and stand taller without being haughty. Speak up, say hi and engage him in conversation, all the while flirting with your eyes. This is a flirtation, so first names are sufficient if you are introducing yourself at a party. And, watch your body cues! Without realizing it, a guy will read your body language and determine if you are open to being approached or you aren’t. Crossed legs, spinster glasses, stressed face and tight shoulders all signal that what you’re saying with your eyes, you aren’t feeling with your body. There’s disconnect and he won’t stick around to figure out why.
If you’ve met at a party or other social engagement, keep the interaction short and sweet. Don’t rush into an impromptu date. The hostess should have your contact information and if he’s interested, he’ll track you down. He may ask you for your number before you leave and whether or not you give it is in your court.
Flirting is fun, sassy and exciting. Whether it nets a new guy or you feel great about yourself and your ability to attract the opposite sex, it doesn’t matter. As you gain more confidence in yourself, you’ll get better and better.
Flirting With a Guy – More Resources
Flirting with a guy over text is scary, isn’t it? He can’t see, hear, smell or feel you at the moment. It feels like your entire existence is being judged by what and how you text. You have to be your best self, or you won’t get another chance.
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There’s a reason this phrase is so common. For some people, flirting is how they relate to others. They laugh, they make eyes, they touch arms, and they shower people with compliments. They’re naturally flirty, and that part of their personality doesn’t go away once they’re in a monogamous relationship or marriage.
Why is flirtatious conversation so difficult for most of us? It is because it requires us to release our inhibitions and be free. We often look at it as an audition for a relationship, and we’re afraid that we will be rejected.
Flirting is one of those things that seems to be second nature to some, but is an entirely foreign language to others. Unfortunately, like with kissing, if you get too “in your own head” about it, it only becomes harder. Try to remember that flirting is supposed to be fun.